Just like almost everyone else "I can't draw" was my motto. My artistic expression was always in the garden or crafting and sewing. For years I admired beautiful paintings, and wonder how in the world? When the subject came up one day with a friend who painted glorious landscapes, her response was "give it a try," along with the caveat that the best step forward was to take lessons.
I sat on that advice for 2 whole years while the pressure of wanting to learn and being afraid to try continued to grow. It just so happened that about halfway down the road to my neighborhood was a small, private art studio. Every time I passed it, nearly every single day, I would feel both the desire and fear about taking the first step. Isn't it so hard to be willing to be a beginner, to take that chance and risk humiliation and failure?
As a woman who aims to walk in step with God, to find my deepest meaning in communion with Spirit, this subject of painting had come up. Many times. Spirit nudges. I decline. "Not yet." "Too busy." "Maybe tomorrow." Until one day, sitting in my morning quiet (sacred) space there was such a strong sense of urgency to make the phone call, to get the ball rolling. Again, up came my excuses but this time I was met with a wall of what I can only call 'resistance.' It was as though the Spirit had nothing more to say to me until I made that phone call! (bear with me here…)
So fine! I'll make the call! Probably no one will answer anyway. But someone DID answer (unusual) and not only did she answer, but she was there with a new art teacher at that very moment. And not only that, but when I stammered ineloquently that I wanted an art class for absolute and total beginners who had never even held a paintbrush except to paint a wall (yes, it was that bad), she said, in fact, at that very moment this was exactly the class they were planning to start and wondered how they were going to find students for it. To say that I was awestruck after that phone call would be an understatement of immense proportions! After we worked out the details I returned to my comfy couch and found an open space of welcome where the wall had so recently been and my heart surprised by the hilarious love God had just shown me.
I sat on that advice for 2 whole years while the pressure of wanting to learn and being afraid to try continued to grow. It just so happened that about halfway down the road to my neighborhood was a small, private art studio. Every time I passed it, nearly every single day, I would feel both the desire and fear about taking the first step. Isn't it so hard to be willing to be a beginner, to take that chance and risk humiliation and failure?
As a woman who aims to walk in step with God, to find my deepest meaning in communion with Spirit, this subject of painting had come up. Many times. Spirit nudges. I decline. "Not yet." "Too busy." "Maybe tomorrow." Until one day, sitting in my morning quiet (sacred) space there was such a strong sense of urgency to make the phone call, to get the ball rolling. Again, up came my excuses but this time I was met with a wall of what I can only call 'resistance.' It was as though the Spirit had nothing more to say to me until I made that phone call! (bear with me here…)
So fine! I'll make the call! Probably no one will answer anyway. But someone DID answer (unusual) and not only did she answer, but she was there with a new art teacher at that very moment. And not only that, but when I stammered ineloquently that I wanted an art class for absolute and total beginners who had never even held a paintbrush except to paint a wall (yes, it was that bad), she said, in fact, at that very moment this was exactly the class they were planning to start and wondered how they were going to find students for it. To say that I was awestruck after that phone call would be an understatement of immense proportions! After we worked out the details I returned to my comfy couch and found an open space of welcome where the wall had so recently been and my heart surprised by the hilarious love God had just shown me.
